Tuesday, November 4, 2008

11:00 PM - OBAMA WINS!!!!



President Elect Barack Obama!

LIVE BLOGGING ELECTION NIGHT

*Latest updates at the top

10:55 - NY Post calls it for Obama (Fox Newscorp's consolation prize)



3 minutes till California polls close and this could really be it... Jon Stewart is giving his victory speech.

10:10 - Iowa is taking credit for Barack Obama. Obama is letting them - giving them front row seats to his victory speech. (Obama won Iowa btw)

10:00 - Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are on!



Colbert has a bird on his shoulder. "Why give people guns and religion if they can't cling to them" - Colbert quote

9:40 - Fox has Obama at 200 electoral votes (McCain has 90)
Fox is roundtabling it about life with President Obama.

Checking in with the networks - ABC has some of Obama's infomercial stars on now. Lame. There were no breakout plumbers from that special. All i remember is the woman with the stick figures of her family etched into her jeep.

Arizona and New Mexico heart Obama - McCain can't even catch a break from his own state. Ouch.

Networks are painfully slow compared to cable news channels. Sorry Katie and Diane.

Ooh! NBC's Rockefeller plaza has US map with colored states on ice skating rink. Points for the peacock. Bonus points if ice sculptures of the candidate are revealed.

9:35 - CNN calls Ohio

Reminder: No Republican has ever won without Ohio. Let's go back and see who else Fox has called.

9:20 - Fox says OhiO-bama

Electoral votes
Obama - 183
McCain - 81

McCain losing Ohio means even if he held every other red state, he'd be at 266. So there's pretty much no way he can win?!? Hmmm...

Electoral votes per CNN
Obama - 174
McCain - 69

They just called West Virginia. Fox called that 100 years ago. I'm predicting Fox calls the election first. A consolation prize of sorts...
Wolf blitzer is wetting himself over the big projection they may have coming up -- who is going to tell him we already know Obama got Ohio?

9:00 - LIVE FROM NEW YORK... It's a win for Obama!

My home state of New York and my college home away from home state, Michigan both GO BLUE!!!




8:50 - Fox doesn't blink! (At least when it comes to McCain)
They've got McCain at almost 70 electoral votes vs CNN's 34. Yes, they were the last to give Obama Pennsylvania but (Palin voice) whaddya expect - it's fox!

8:30 - Obama's picking up steam!

Electoral Votes
Obama - 103
McCain - 45

Fox News caves and calls Pennsylvania for Obama!

8:20pm - ABC says O gets PA!

Scrappy Scranton came through for PA-born Democrat Joe Biden!

In other Biden news, Joe the Senator was re-elected Senator of Delaware...


Congratulations JBide!

8:15pm - I'm dizzy

Obama takes New Hampshire on Fox
Obama takes Pennsylvania on MSNBC!!!!!!!! This better not be Olbermann running amok again!!!

8:00pm - Polls closed in 15 states

According to Fox News...
Obama takes Maine, Connecticut, Delaware, New Jersey, Illinois,DC, Maryland
McCain takes South Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, West Virginia

Electoral college standings:
McCain = 39
Obama = 77

News channels love their new touch screen gadgets!

7:45pm - No new states called

He looks the way I feel right about now...



Pundits are waxing poetic and spouting statistics about every subculture in the country's voting habits.

41% of white evangelicals in Indiana showed up to vote versus 36% in 2004.

Shift in electoral map is possible

If you want a drinking game -- take a drink everytime you hear:

Battleground states
Electoral map
Too close to call
Exit polls

7pm - Kentucky is called for McCain; Vermont goes to Obama --



Electoral college standings:
McCain = 8
Obama = 3

*Karl Rove's prediction for the race: Obama to score 339 electoral votes, McCain 200

There are so many numbers constantly moving on every channel it is making me dizzy... and it's only 7pm!

Let the exit polling begin --- the race is ON! Here's hoping for happy returns...

ELISABETH FRAZZLE-BACK'S ELECTION DAY WOES

The View's token right-winger is flipping her lid today...

CELEBS SPOTTED VOTING

Blogs are abuzz with celeb sightings at the polls --

The candidates cast their ballots - (presumably for their own tickets but Sarah Palin ain't sayin')

Senator Hillary Clinton waved her arms for a little attention and reminded everyone she was voting Obama

Gawker's stalkers spotted:

Rob Riggle
James Carville
P. Diddy
Anna Wintour

And Tim Robbins (of all people) had some complications casting his ballot. TMZ has a video after the brouhaha ensued - so no fireworks on film here

Tim Robbins Voting Scandal

hell yeah




SARAH FROM ALASKA WON'T SAY WHO SHE VOTED FOR

Palin plays it close to the vest - maverick style!



Goin' out like a rogue.

LIVE GAFFE WITH REGIS AND KELLY

Regis makes an unintentional racial faux pas on air this morning.



After the implications of his remark were made clear, Reege apologized later in the broadcast. Still waiting on a statement from Kelly's kid.

REAL OBAMANIACS

Spain has cast their vote.



Larger than Life Obama

Someone over there is really obsessed with Obama!

ELECTION DAY!!!!

AAAAGH!!!!!!!!



Here we go...

One thing's for sure - Bush is out. To honor W's legacy here's a quote from Bill Maher: "Ah, George Bush. I mean, sure he ruined banking, housing and the auto industry. But the state of the comedy business was strong."

So true!

Monday, November 3, 2008

SNL BACKSTAGE WITH THE MCCAINS

Clips from McCain's 2002 appearance hosting the show, Cindy gets a punchline in, and SNL thanks McCain for all the material.

ELECTION EVE - LIVE BLOGGING SNL'S PRESIDENTIAL BASH

Looks like McCain is angling for a regular slot on SNL! The dark horse in tomorrow’s election kicks off SNL’s Presidential bash with a solo cold open… and totally rocks it, kicking the night off on the right foot. (And by the way, future candidates: When it comes to using your TV airtime, I totally vote for multiple SNL appearances over ½ hour infomercials)



Next: New Mom Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton hosts the special – using her time to announce her candidacy in 012 among other assertions. I will always love this caricature of HRC… and with Poehler packing up at 30 Rock, this is nice closure.



Solid clips from this election season take up the next 20 minutes – with a quick, unfunny interruption from Jason Sudeikis as Joe Biden… and a Poehler punctuated bit at the end of a past Clinton monologue… love Present Clinton getting more unhinged as the night goes on – you know Real Hillary is telling everyone how fine she is with supporting Obama, but back in Chappaqua, candy-colored pantsuits and copies of Bill’s memoir are flying!

Not enough new content tonight – 90% of the show is highlights from the past month (most of which is posted on this site)

Real Palin! When is this from? And what is she doing? That was just the weirdest thing I ever heard…hold on –I have to watch this again.



Okay, yup, she made a few “jokes” about NBC’s shitty ratings and then a joke about being sworn in on January 20th as VP and revoking NBC’s broadcast license –I think the part about her being sworn in was the joke, but who knows. You know, I think the new perfect post-election job for her would be the Elisabeth Hasselback on a View-spinoff with Rosie O’Donnell, a few filler pundettes, and a Barbara Walters-style referee.

Old, old, old… seriously, what was up with that Palin monologue? Her pitbull/hockey mom riddle was funnier than this pointless bit. Her kids’ names are funnier than this… Am I missing something?

By the way, if you’ve been living under a rock, Oprah is going to be 30 Rock this week.

2nd Rev Wright commercial during this show… no Obama ads to counter.

Amy Poehler RAPS up the show --- Oh okay… Sarah Palin wore the black suit on SNL when she appeared a few weeks ago, which is when she must have taped the earlier bit that has baffled me for half of this broadcast. So since she filmed this three weeks ago, she needed to do something that wasn't time sensitive at all… so that whole NBC thing was safe. But it wasn’t funny. This rap on the other hand --- still awesome!!!

Okay, that’s all. Time to watch The Hills.

VOTE TOMORROW!

UH OH! BAM LOSES HIS BEARINGS

Which swing state is this again???

SARAH TO TINA: KEEP THE COSTUME

Does she just not understand that Tina Fey is making fun of her?


"And a little advice for Tina. We wanted to make sure she's holding on to that Sarah outfit, because she's going to need it for the next four years." - Sarah Palin, Columbus, Ohio

Palin Advises Fey to Keep the Sarah Outfit

Sunday, November 2, 2008

MCCAIN ON SNL

Following his running mate's ratings-bustin' appearance on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago, John McCain did the "Live from New York" thing...

First, there was the cold open with Tina Fey, where McCain and Palin countered Obama's TV Special with their own QVC show. Surprise appearance by Cindy McCain, looking totally in her element on a QVC-like set hawking jewelry.



Then McCain followed Palin's lead and returned for a spot on "Weekend Update" - which paled in comparison to Amy Poehler's Palin rap, and frankly seemed a little desperate... but I did like all the maverick references



McCain stuck around to the end of the show, waving with Cindy, Tina, David Cook and friends during the goodbye. I love the end of SNL for the same reason I love the Golden Globe awards -- best candidly awkward moments among celebrities. This closing credits began with McCain asking Tina Fey to replace Sarah Palin on the election trail, McCain shaking hands with David Cook, Tina Fey standing awkwardly with Cindy McCain until Ben Affleck rescued her, and McCain giving Kristen Wiig a big bear hug with the back of his head to camera a la the Town Hall debate. A fine closing credits indeed.

PS -- Amy Poehler, please come back for Monday night's pre-election day special!!!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

DON'T VOTE CAMPAIGN - PART 2

Leonardo Dicaprio pulls out more of his A-list friends in a sequel to his "Don't Vote" video -- now with a twist... Tom"Maverick in Top Gun" Cruise and a couple of others don't understand why they are being told to say "Don't Vote" when they really mean "Vote."

So basically that's the gist of the celebrity PSA -- and it is about as lame as it sounds. However, it is worth watching, if only to count the number of celebrities sporting newly grown "liberal" facial hair. Seriously, I think Tom Cruise and Scarlett Johansson are the only clean-shaven faces in the bunch... though Scarlett's "liberal" ponytail is a faux pas unto itself.

5 More Friends





Note to Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, Zach Braff, and all the other boyish celebrities with overgrown faces -- DON'T SHAVE! (Which really means SHAVE!)

TRICK OR TREATIN' WITH PIPER PALIN & SASHA OBAMA

Halloween with the Candidates little ghouls:

A SNOW QUEEN and... A CORPSE BRIDE


LOVE the McCain/Palin Jack O'Lanterns!

In other candidate kid costume news: Trig (Palin's 4month old) was an elephant and Obama's older daughter Malia was an "evil fairy" and I'm guessing Bristol Palin had a pretty decent take on "Juno" whether she knew she was in costume or not.

3 DAYS LEFT... TURN YOUR CLOCKS BACK!

November came without the "October Surprise" everyone expected from the GOP....

But the first November surprise is... Obama's got an Auntie Zeituni living in Boston who may be an illegal alien!

And McCain's on SNL!

And Palin wins most popular Halloween costume!

PALIN GETS PUNK'D

Sarah Palin takes a prank call from comedians pretending to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Becksy has got to have to get better at screenin' these telephone things!



At least Palin gets to punch her fake foreign policy card one more time!

MCCAIN NEEDS SPELLCHECK

Droppin' more than just the G's these days...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

OBAMA AFTER PRIMETIME - ON THE DAILY SHOW

Here's the clip of Obama's appearance on "The Daily Show" last night after his primetime special infomercial.



The only reason it wasn't posted earlier, was because quite frankly, it isn't very funny. I love the guy, but Obama really sucks the funny out of politics. It's not that he has a bad sense of humor... but he is really not funny. Of course, we've had a president we could laugh at for 8 years and we saw how that went...

HALLOWEEN PREDICTION


Regis and Kelly always have a lively Halloween show with multiple costume changes... This year, I'm betting that they'll take on McCain and Palin...and then to give the left a little love dress as... Bill and Hillary Clinton. My gut tells me we're not going to see Reege in black face tomorrow morning. But the truth will be revealed soon enough...

WHERE'S JOE?

YouTube is McCain's kryptonite.

Poor guy... here's his latest goof:



And...another cringeworthy moment -- apparently the campaign had to bus in a school of children to fill out the spare audience at this rally. Oh this is just getting sad.

GOIN' ROGUE - DAILY SHOW REPORT

With less than a week left, things are going wild --the media and/or Sarah Palin are cutting loose and throwing caution to the wind...

Leave it to Jon Stewart to put it all in perspective ---

ELECTOPHOBIA

Julie --- this one's for you

4 Tips for Dealing with Pre-Election Jitters

Also, may I offer 1 more --- alcohol.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

THE BARACK SHOW - LIVE DVR BLOG

Barack Obama’s political message starts in the heartland of America –with dancing wheat fields and citizens waving flags.

Then we cut to Barack Obama – doing his best Barbara Walters-Mr Rogers hybrid. He introduces the special and quickly gets to his first guest.

The first guest – Rebecca Johnston – A woman who has stick figures of her family carved/drawn onto her jeep and a daughter named Tallulah. She’s struggling with making ends meet.

Back to Barack who reminds us how screwed this country is and reminds us of his plan to fix us.

By the way, forget about the money it cost to buy air time – this is quality video – I’m betting the budget is approximately the same as the cost of outfitting 15 Sarah Palin’s.

While I was busy doing math, Obama transitioned to his energy plan.

Obama transitions seamlessly from Juanita Sanchez and her 7 year old with "special needs" to education/home movies --- cute!!!

I’m such a sucker… all the personal stuff always makes me tear up.

Joe Biden makes a cameo.

Endorsements. Kids with American flag face pain. Obama with the lunch ladies. Hand shaking. Hugging. And Live from Florida….it’s Barack Obama.

Change is in the House! Obama rents out another stadium and gives us a live wrap up of his TV Special. VOTE FOR ME!!!! CHANGE THE WORLD!!!! Cue the music!

Good night and good luck!

SARAH PALIN CUT FROM THE NOOSE

The mannequin with Sarah Palin's likeness hanging outside of a West Hollywood home was taken down after a protest and urging by local politicians including the mayor.

Sarah Palin Effigy


Score 1 for Palin, after the Secret Service investigation conducted earlier let the noosed mannequin hang, while a fake McCain burned from the chimney of the same home. Not a hate crime -- just Halloween was the official ruling.

BRISTOL OFFERS TO BABYSIT TINA FEY'S DAUGHTER

Tina Fey reveals what went on behind the scenes when Governor Palin came to SNL. Funny stuff!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

MCCAIN'S BRAIN FART



Oh McCain -- so close -- we're proud of you for coming back around to finish your answer.

NO 'PALIN AROUND' - VP TV SHOW MAY HAVE TO WAIT



Law may preclude TV stardom for Palin

If the GOP loses next week, most everyone agrees Sarah Palin could have a future in television. Unfortunately, Alaska Law may preclude this until she runs out her term as Governor. That would delay Palinvision till at least 2010 -- which would be terrible! We'll miss Bristol's wedding and baby, Trig's first and second birthdays, another new Palin baby, Piper Palin's rise to Secretary of State, and Sarah's claim that Alaska's proximity to the North Pole and her negotiations with Santa Claus have given her additional foreign policy experience.

CANDIDATES ON SNL

If their SNL performances were the only things we knew about these 2 candidates, who would you vote for?

MCCAIN IN SPRING 2008


OR... OBAMA in FALL 2007


PS -- McCain's resume actually has additional SNL clips on it - he hosted the show in 2002

PPS -- Obama is rumored to appear on the broadcast this Saturday (aka the Saturday before Election Day).

Obama on SNL Weekend Before Election

7 DAYS LEFT!!!

For those of you not paying attention -- that's one week.

For those of you who like math - that's 168 hours.

For those of you who really like math - that's 10,080 minutes.

BREAKING NEWS - OBAMA WINS!




News has gotten so immediate that some sources now report on events before they happen! Like one New Mexico Newspaper that has the distinction of being the source to call a winner for the 2008 Presidential Election. This is probably a very reliable news source, seeing as they make up the facts and then hope they come true. Will psychic journalism become the next big trend in news? My Magic Eight Ball says "It is decidedly so."

Why Wait? NM Paper Hits Streets with ‘Obama Wins’ Headline




OBAMA VS MICKEY

On Wednesday night at 8pm, a 30-minute Barack Obama special will air on CBS, NBC and FOX. Over on (Disney owned) ABC --- Pushing Daisies will air at its regularly scheduled time. What will you be watching?

Monday, October 27, 2008

BEST DANCE-OFF

You won't believe your eyes --

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

RON HOWARD: HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN

Ron Howard delivers a call to action by revisiting his TV Land past. If you remember a time when Ron Howard was a TV star, this will be a nice dose of nostalgia with a political message

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

REPORTING LIVE FROM WASHINGTON DC...

I spent the last few days in our nation's capital, and spotted Obama measuring the White House drapes! I also spotted McCain walking around aimlessly by the Lincoln Memorial and pointed him up the stairs where a few Palin impersonators were performing an elaborate juggling act. At the end of my journey, I rode the train back up the east coast, dropped Joe Biden off in Delaware, and returned to New York. It was a good time!

Other than that, and here is the truth --- I was in DC for work and didn't spend much time in the city at all. But in my time there, I could tell the city was shoring up their economy by introducing more election swag than you ever imagined. If you have slogan to put on a t-shirt, bumper sticker, button, candy bar wrapper, shot glass, or back scratcher, I guarantee, they're already selling it in DC. It looks like they opened extra stands in the train station to accommodate all the merch.

Of course the election is the first topic on everyone's mind there too -- and with pretty much every single sentence the candidates say printed on something, there's no shortage on opportunities for one to express themselves. My cab driver for example had a sticker that said "Ask me how many houses I have." Unfortunately, when my coworker did that, he just laughed. Damn those rhetorical questions. Except... I wonder if the red and blue cab drivers get along...

Save for a few Joe the Plumber jokes and maverick references, Obama pleas and pre-Election Day jitters, the election vibe was pretty much the typical fare. Of course I'm speaking from the vantage point of someone holed up in a convention center for 3 days so there' s a margin of error there.

And finally, while I did not ride the train with Joe Biden, I did ride an Amtrak train roundtrip that stopped at Wilmington Delaware. And on my way back to NY, I met the acquaintance of a chatty gentlemen that acted the way I'd imagine Joe Biden would have. Said Chatty Gent also informed me that he has travelled to Delaware for business on a fairly regular basis and has seen Joe Biden on the train or platform 3 times --- each time all by himself. Joe Biden = Average Joe. (Except for the time he spilled coffee on himself -- that time he was Sloppy Joe.)

SIGNING OFF FROM WASHINGTON DC, THIS IS LEFT HANDED MAVERICK BACK IN NY!

MCCAIN'S ROOMMATES

Funny Webisodes on funnyordie.com -- John McCain's Roommates.

Here's an early installment, (#2) where McCain's roommates share concerns about the new woman in his life.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die


And the most recent, (#4) which deals with some extra charges on the apartment phone bill.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

WASSUP! OBAMA

Original "Wassup" guys from 2000's Super Bowl Budweiser Commercial reunite to show where we are in 2008...




And the original...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

MCCAIN AND MADONNA

It doesn't matter if you're right or left...

VOGUE is the new change! Strike a pose, M & M.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

PALIN DISSED BY ALASKA NEWSPAPER

Despite being the home state to GOP VP Nominee, the Anchorage Daily News endorsed Barack Obama today. Maybe if Palin had given them a shoutout when Katie Couric asked where she got her news, this would be a different story, but revenge is best served cold.... like eskimos and sno-cones.

Alaska Newspaper Endorses Obama

Saturday, October 25, 2008

10 DAYS OUT - TOP 10 STORIES

Here's what the media's talking about just ten days before Election Day (in no particular order):

1) Obama leads in the Polls - McCain trails by 2-13 points, depending on the source. Add 2-3% margin of error and a 20% chance of late afternoon showers, and this thing is still pretty much up for grabs.

2) Premature Inauguration - Is Obama counting his chickens before they vote? Maybe, but would it really be so bad to have a president who plans ahead based on available information?

McCain Jokes Obama 'Inaugural' on Par With 'Dewey Defeats Truman'

3) Palin v McCain -- The honeymoon may be over. In the article below, a McCain advisor calls Palin a "diva" ---- Now that's just sexist. If she were a man, she would be called a Maverick...

Palin goes “rogue”

4) Obama's goes from Hawaii to Nevada --- Back on the campaign trail, Obama headed to Reno, avoiding Sin City and the temptation to say, "Vegas, Baby --- Vegas!"

5) McCain Goes West - Overheard at rally: "Taxes? We don't need new stinking taxes." Yee-haw my friends.

6)Biden's not Hidin' - After his world-class gaffe about an impending international crisis, Joe the Gaffer is blazing full speed ahead. No Palin-style sidelinin' for this dude.

7)Healthcare attacks on McCain may not be Obama's battle

Obama vs Advisors on Health Care

8)UN Wants Barack -- Though the galaxy is still split with Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and backing Obama; Venus, Saturn, and Neptune for McCain, and Pluto and Uranus undecided.

9)Checks and Balances -- GOP warns of the dangers of one party rule. Yeah, we would run the danger of things actually getting done! Pretty scary!

10)Amy Poehler has a baby -- Not really an election story... except for the fact that it probably means no Hilary Clinton parodies this week.

Friday, October 24, 2008

SNL WEEKEND UPDATE THURSDAY'S MEGA MAP

The Fred Armisen bit about a minute in is HILARIOUS!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

SNL - FERRELL AND FEY IN THE HOME STRETCH

Tina Fey and Will Ferrell's iconic impressions of Sarah Palin and George W. Bush met tonight on SNL Weekend Update Thursday. (Major diss to last week's host, the movie "W" - Josh Brolin)

The premise of this one was probably the least organic of the Palin sketches, but when you have 2 of the funniest people in comedy coming together as 2 of the stupidest people in politics, who cares? It is like choosing the dream cast for your worst nightmare.

FOLKSY RUN-ON SENTENCES AND SUCH

Sarah Palin reacts to a particularly harsh critic by adopting the voice of a folksy cartoon bunny rabbit. Then watch as the conversation goes from mockery to maverick to media elite in 60 seconds.



Why does it always feel like there's a 50% chance of a coherent thought?
When SP starts speaking, there's always that point where you wonder, "How will this one end? Is she going to get lost in the words or is she going to come out the other side with a coherent run-on sentence?"

MCCAIN SAYS C U Next Tuesday

Oops!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA...

And Sarah Palin wears $150,000 from Saks, Neiman Marcus, and other notable retailers!

The issue of the day has turned to Sarah (Jessica) Palin's love of labels and designer duds.

Everyone is sounding off on the hockey mom's expensive wardrobe --

Palin’s $150,000 Shopping Spree

My opinion - Money well spent. If you put lipstick on a pig, it is still a pig. But if the pig is going to be on television... the lipstick helps. Palin's clothing is one of the few strengths of her campaign. With all the negatives that have come out about the Alaska Governor over the past 2 months, why pick on the one thing that is actually working? Did anyone really expect her to wear Target on the Red Carpet?

GAFFE OFF

Everyone is suffering from campaign fatigue...

First up: John McCain's a hot mess in Pennsylvania -


Next... Sarah Palin still isn't quite sure what a VP does.



Note: If you are wondering why she sounds even more "aw shucks folksy" than usual, this was on a news segment called "Question from a 3rd Grader." Aka -- More Gotcha Journalism from the media elite!

And here, we've got Joe Biden warning about the international crisis we face if we elect Barack Obama.



Obama's reaction to his running mate's verbal diarrhea : "I think Joe sometimes engages in rhetorical flourishes." I think we're supposed to read between the lines/really big words here and take that as, "Please ignore Joe's moronic rants."

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

TWO WEEKS NOTICE

Here's what's going on with 2 weeks to go ---

Obama announced that he will suspend his campaign fto travel to Hawaii to visit his ailing grandmother on Thursday.

Obama filmed an appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show, which will air Wednesday. So tomorrow, we'll have a chance to check out Obama's dance moves. Undecided voters, get ready to be swayed...

Sarah Palin's expense reports reveal that she billed Alaska for her kids' travel fees. The reports were updated recently, to cite that the Governor's children were on "official business." From what we've seen of this woman in the past six weeks, I can totally believe that having a daughter or so on hand is vitally important. They help round out her education, shield her from booing crowds at hockey games, and tell her when she has lipstick on her teeth.

Biden gaffes again --- and McCain is alll over it. Joe the Loose Cannon gave a speech on Sunday about how electing Barack Obama would "guarantee" a huge international crisis within the first six months of his tenure in the White House. WTF?!? He also said gird your loins in this speech. Get a good night sleep, Joey. Or word of advice for Obama... gird your loons!

I know it has been the longest election ever, but I actually am a little sad it is coming to an end. New 90210 isn't nearly as entertaining as this circus.

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF JOHN THE MAVERICK & FRIENDS

After Joe the Plumber became a big name in the McCain campaign, some of his other supporters wanted to get in on the action and identify themselves like the illustrations in a Richard Scarry children's book.




We see that Phil the Brick Layer, Construction Worker, and Rose the Teacher are all in the tank for McCain. But what about Bob the Builder and Dora the Explorer? Have they endorsed yet?

CLINTON WATCH




Clinton helps Obama launch fight for Florida

It is true that time heals all wounds, she's probably had a chance to catch up on her sleep, and spending day in and out with Bill has got to get tedious. But the real reason HRC is back on the campaign trail doing big time stumping for Obama is really an issue of publicity and politics. With the gaps in the polls widening and Obama looking more and more likely to pull this off, Hill's going to want to have a hand in helping him "seal the deal."

Plus, she's got to get back in the spotlight to remind everyone how much time she used to spend there. Let's be honest, at this point, it looks like Tina Fey will be a bigger footnote in this election than the First Lady who would be president.

It's time for HRC to reclaim her place in the race, and stumping for Obama in the Sunshine State is a solid move.

Monday, October 20, 2008

JON STEWART V. SARAH PALIN

The audio isn't great but watch Jon Stewart drop an F-bomb on Sarah Palin after she implies that New York isn't part of the Pro-America part of the country.



Just to review: The Church of Palin-tology separates the country into pro-America small towns and media-elite infested cities.

Stay tuned for a future posting on all the laws of the church.

SARAH PALIN'S GREATEST HITS

Sunday, October 19, 2008

PALIN - READY FOR PRIMETIME



The Real Sarah Palin's appearance on SNL this weekend (check out the clips below) brought the show its highest ratings in 14 years.

The TV Watch - On ‘Saturday Night Live,’ the Real Sarah Palin Looks Like a Real Entertainer - NYTimes.com
Not surprising to us Left Handed Mavericks, who have seen Gov Palin as a ready-made reality star since McCain plucked her out of Alaska. With her ability to grab ratings proving stronger than her ability to grab votes, we just may see our predictions become reality. (Speaking of which, did I just see Whitney from the Hills on Entourage???? And the publicist from Entourage wearing the same dress as Willow Palin in the Couric interview???)
Okay, I've officially lost it --- 16 days left.




PALIN ON SNL - REAL, FEY, & A RAPPIN' POEHLER

"All the Mavericks in the House put your Hands UP!!!!"

(The Real) Sarah Palin made her debut on SNL last night -- facing her doppelganger/former Halloween costume, Tina Fey. Overall the Palin appearance gets a mixed review in my book -- but Amy Poehler gets an A+ (check out the clip below to see why)

Thumbs Up: Palin actually came on the show and appeared 3 times throughout the broadcast -in the Opening, Weekend Update, and Closing.
Thumbs Down: For Palin's ever-present expression of constipated contempt that was last seen on Katie Couric during her interview with... Sarah Palin. (As I've said, the 2 perkiest personalities in pop culture/politics share remarkable similarities)

Thumbs Up: Palin count - 2 for 2! Tina Fey also showed up and trotted out her Palin impersonation in the presence of her victim, and allowed Palin to take a few shots at her. (Though as anyone who has seen 30 Rock knows, she's obviously a really good sport about that)
Thumbs Down: The 2 Palin's merely passed by one another in the Opening Sketch... which, given all the hype made it feel like a bit of a letdown.

Thumbs Up: For the Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg cameos -- Baldwin confusing Palin with Fey, and Wahlberg taking issue with Andy Samburg's unflattering impression of him. Both appearances added energy to the Opening, and (kind of) distracted from Palin's clear discomfort. Thumbs Down: For the Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg cameos -- We would have easily traded these appearances for an actual conversation between the 2 Palins. (However, it was definitely fun to play "Which Palin Is It?" throughout the sketch)



But just when I was about to write off the Palin appearance as overhyped, the Governor came back out during Weekend Update, and announced that she was handing her next bit off to Amy Poehler. What followed was an absolutely hilarious rap -- complete with back up eskimos, a fake Todd Palin, and a dancing moose --- that was good enough to make up for the fact that the real Sarah Palin was a pretty disappointing comedian. And yet... think about the comedic gifts she has given us, add this one to the list, and.... for the maverick in the house, put your hands up!!!



MY NAME IS SARAH PALIN, YOU ALL KNOW ME,
VICE-PREZZY NOMINEE OF THE GOP,
GONNA NEED YOUR VOTE IN THE NEXT ELECTION,
CAN I GET A WHAT-WHAT FROM THE SENIOR SECTION!

McCAIN GOT EXPERIENCE, McCAIN GOT STYLE,
BUT DON'T LET HIM FREAK YOU OUTWHEN HE TRIES TO SMILE
CUZ THAT SMILE BE CREEPY, BUT WHEN I'M V.P.,
ALL THE LEADERS IN THE WORLD GONNA FINALLY MEET ME!

(FRED ARMISEN & ANDY SAMBERG enter as ESKIMOS)

(POEHLER)
HOW'S IT GO, ESKIMOS? TELL TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW, ESKIMOS!
HOW YA FEEL, ESKIMOS? TELL TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL, ESKIMOS!

(SAMBERG/ARMISEN)
ESKIMOS! ESKIMOS! ICE COLD! SUPER COLD!

(POEHLER)
I'M JEREMIAH WRIGHT CUZ TONIGHT I'M THE PREACHER,
I GOT A BOOKISH LOOK AND YOU'RE ALL HOT FOR TEACHER,

(JASON SUDEIKIS enters as TODD PALIN and stands next to POEHLER)

(POEHLER)
TODD LOOKING FINE ON HIS SNOW MACHINE,
SO HOT FOR EACH OTHER, NEED A GO-BETWEEN!
IN WASILLA, WE JUST CHILL BABY CHILLA
BUT WHEN I SEE OIL, IT'S ...(ALL) DRILL BABY DRILLA!

(POEHLER)
MY COUNTRY 'TIS OF THEE,
FROM MY PORCH I CAN SEE RUSSIA AND SUCH.

ALL THE MAVERICKS IN THE HOUSE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
ALL THE MAVERICKS IN THE HOUSE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
ALL THE PLUMBERS IN THE HOUSE, PULL YOUR PANTS UP,
ALL THE PLUMBERS IN THE HOUSE, PULL YOUR PANTS UP!

WHEN I SAY OBAMA, YOU SAY AYERS,
OBAMA! (SAMBERG/ARMISEN) AYERS!
OBAMA! (SAMBERG/ARMISEN) AYERS!
I BUILT ME A BRIDGE AND IT AIN'T GOING NOWHERE! OOOOOHHHHHHHH.

McCAIN/PALIN GONNA PUT THE NAIL IN
THE COFFIN … OF THE MEDIA ELITE!
(SAMBERG/ARMISEN) SHE LIKES RED MEAT!

(MOOSE enters)

(POEHLER)
SHOOT A MUTHA HUMPIN MOOSE
EIGHT DAYS OF THE WEEK,
NOW YOU'RE DEAD NOW YOU'RE DEAD CUZ I'M AN ANIMAL,
AND I'M BIGGER THAN YOU HOLDIN' A SHOTGUN,
WORKIN' THE PUMP EVERYBODY PARTY,
WE GOING ON A HUNT LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

YO I'M PALIN I'M OUT!

"PALIN IS COUNTERPOINT TO LIBERAL FEMINIST AGENDA"

Quote McCain.

I'm guessing he's given up on her appeal to female voters. Or at least the female voters that want equal rights.

BIDEN HITS THE TONIGHT SHOW

Not to be left out of the late night loop, the Democrats threw their VP onto The Tonight Show... the same night McCain made amends with Letterman on the other side of the country.

Though McCain's mea culpa won the night in the ratings, Biden and Jay proved to be a solid pairing in their own right. Like with the debates, the democratic ticket didn't do anything to hurt themselves, and the republicans didnt deliver a knockout performance.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

TINA "FALIN" FACES LETTERMAN

A night after McCain made amends with the Late Show host, Tina Fey stopped by to promote 30 Rock, talk about her famous Palin impressions, and share anecdotes of life since becoming Tina "Falin" --



From Friday, Oct. 17th

MCCAIN FACES LETTERMAN

After cancelling on Letterman for Katie Couric/the economic crisis a few weeks ago, McCain makes things right with late night TV.



From Thursday, October 16th

UNSUNG IMPERSONATOR

While Tina Fey's Palin is (deservedly) getting loads of attention this election season, I want to also acknowledge the subtle perfection of Darrell Hammond's take on McCain with this clip - a parody of the 2nd Presidential Debate -- The Town Hall.

17 DAYS TO GO!!!!

And 4 clipboard-toting Obama reps outside my building today, asking for a "few minutes for Barack Obama."

Friday, October 17, 2008

PIC OF THE WEEK - MCCAIN'S CRAZY TONGUE

These are so funny! To borrow a phrase from the Daily Show -- this is SO your "moment of Zen"







WEEKEND UPDATE - PALIN ON SNL!

Sarah Palin is confirmed to appear on SNL tomorrow night... Set your DVR!

The Associated Press: Live from NY, it's the real Sarah Palin on 'SNL'

BURNING QUESTION: Is she ready?!?

LAUGHING WITH JOHN AND BARACK

Nice to see that we can always reach across the aisle for a good roast...



Apparently there was quite a bit more comedy in the candidate's full speeches -- Obama reportedly said that he liked the Waldorf-Astoria (where the event took place)because from the steps, he could see all the way to the Russian Tea Room... Oh O! Silly President!

GAFFE-ING WITH JOE AND SARAH

In the age of YouTube, every slip up is fair game



Northwest, Sarah? You sure about that?



Try counting those letters again, Joe...

Wonderfully Hilarious News

We love Will Ferrell!!

Will Ferrell Heading To Broadway With Bush

Thursday, October 16, 2008

SAY IT AIN'T SO, JOE!

This is hilarious! The proverbial "everyman" from last night's debate, Joe the Plumber is...wait for it... not a plumber!

The Associated Press: Is 'Joe the Plumber' a plumber? That's debatable

He is an unlicensed employee of Newell Plumbing & Heating. He is not registered to work as a plumber in Ohio.

In my opinion if he fixes toilets and leaky sinks, he is a plumber regardless of the paperwork... but isn't it just so typical of US to turn actual people into archetypal charicatures, and then turn their humanity into hypocrisy? Put another way --- isn't this the type of shit we see on reality TV all the time?

Of course, it is also kind of funny that anyone McCain picks to represent the average American, comes with a shitload of baggage! Palin anyone?!? Vet, Vet, Vet!!!!

KEEPING UP WITH THE JOES

Prominent Joes of the 2008 Presidential Election

1. Joe Biden - VP Nominee (D)
2. Joe Six Pack - Sarah Palin Fan
3. Joe the Plumber - Star of 3rd Presidential Debate

MEET JOE PLUMBER



I think he would make a good action figure.

SUPER FUN!

Check out this site - it's a blast!

http://www.palinaspresident.com

Dozens of funny surprises when you click on the windows, doors, diplomas, etc... my favorite is the dinosaur walking by outside the window and digital Palin saying, "What happened to Russia?"

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

DEBATE #3 - A RECAP



Live DVR Blog of Third Presidential Debate

Characters: Bob Schieffer, Obama, McCain
*Revised post debate to include “Joe” – a plumber in Ohio

Topic: Domestic Issues

Question 1: Economy
McCain Starts – He’s got some quick fixes. Buying mortgages.
Obama talks about his 4 key points. Sometimes when he talks about his economic package it sounds like he’s talking about a gym membership or seasons tickets to Six Flags

10 min – Who is this Joe the Plummer? And does he know Joe Six Pack? Should we count number of times someone says Joe? (estimating 6 as of now)

17min – McCain mooches off Hillary Clinton… and then starts talking really fast and saying a lot of things. Obama approved spending for an overhead projector in a planetarium in his hometown – that is so random!

20min – McCain voted for bush budget 4/5 times- which is also the number of dentists that recommend Trident. Coincidence?

21min: McCain explicit: I am not Bush!

22min: I love when Obama asks to respond and says, “There’s a lot of stuff that’s been put out there” ... Did he just say he’s not popular with teachers and environmentalists? Aren’t these the people he is popular with?

24min: List of slams – Why so mean?

25min: McCain: He’s meaner than me. Second Clinton reference; Obama: He’s meaner than me. Let’s get back to the economy.

29min: McCain: No him. Obama: Your running mate is a bitch. But back to the issues. Back and forth again…and another Joe Plumber reference

35min: McCain’s third Clinton reference.

36min: Obama on Bill Ayers and ACORN: I hardly knew ya. But back to the economy and name dropping. What about Oprah, Obama?

39min: Obama laughs at McCain when he says his campaign is about the economy

40min: Love this question! Why is your running mate better for the country?
Obama on Biden: He doesn’t forget the little guy.
McCain on Palin – She’s a reformer. “Breash of freth air”
Obama on Palin: She’s an idiot but I can’t say that so I’ll say she “energized the party”
McCain on Biden: Some cockamamie ideas.

46min: Obama laughs at McCain again.

51min: Damn Obama and those nasty WORDS!!! McCain inserts 4th Clinton reference.

53min: McCain rolls his eyes at Obama’s Venezuela talk, then scribbles furiously before sitting upright and salivating for his chance to respond. Obama talks a lot. McCain salivates more.

55min: McCain stutters and sputters to respond. Obama just laughs. I feel like for all his salivating and scribbling, McCain didn’t come up with that much.

56min: Obama talks about broken hearts and two women in Toledo as a prelude to his health care chat.

59min: Joe the Plumber’s back! McCain goes into an infomercial to Joe the Plummer. (3 more Joe’s… and we’re not even counting the Biden references earlier … ) Obama talks directly to Joe: “Joe, if you are out there… “ - I feel like this could be the beginning of an 80’s pop song.

1hr01min: My apologies to any small business owners… I began tuning out the small business tax debate after the 3rd or 4th time I heard them avoid the same questions

1hr03min: Joe’s rich! Yay!!! (3more Joes) I love that they both have totally embraced leaving the entire election up to Joe the Plumber. This guy is definitely going to see his small business get a boost... and maybe even a toilet bowl endorsement will come his way! Joe really could be rich after this!

1hr07min: Oooh… Obama brings up equal pay for equal work legislation… that McCain voted against. McCain skirts issue (pun intended) but talks about Obama’s voting record re: voting present.

1hr15min: Last question! Wow…this one feels shorter than the last one.

1hr25min: mydebates.org plug after 10 min of education ending in sarcastic McCain

1hr26min: Closing arguments. Mccain brings back “my friends” – and makes his close. Obama makes his close. The end.

McCain made a funny face when he was deciding which side of the desk to walk around. They could have done a puppet show in the middle of the stage where there are people leaning out. That would have been fun. This debate was so-so. “Not a game changer” as they say.

20 DAYS TO GO!!!!

Less than three weeks till the vote! Last debate is tonight...

More People Should Be Talking About This!

A friend of a friend made this video...



Now, IMAGINE if Michelle Obama had belonged to something like this!!

Awful Awful Awful/Sad!

Hank Williams, Jr. is not helping anyone with this- himself, McCain, Palin, the American people, etc. This is just a sick joke:

Hank Williams, Jr. Embarrasses Himself

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Think I Like Elizabeth Hasselback

I turned on The View this morning and some other requisite blond woman was sitting in Elizabeth's chair. While I fundamentally disagree with almost everything Elizabeth says and find her annoying, self-righteous, and moderately stupid, I was also completely disinterested in today's show without her there. Say what you want about The View, but the catty nonsense that goes on is some of the best, most honest political debate on television. It's raw and it's happening right before your eyes, and literally anything could happen. Like, Joy might punch Elizabeth in the ear one day.

File under: "we already knew or suspected this"

Botox Biden

Sad News

It was inevitable.

TIna Fey Will Not Be Sarah Palin Forever

It's a sad day for the left-handed maverick, but we'll carry on.

JUSTIN & JESSICA BRING SEXY BACK TO POLITICS

Finally! Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake throw their 2 sense into the political arena. As they say for the first 2 minutes of their address, they are stepping out of their comfort zone. So far out of their comfort zone that if they weren’t so adorable (or endorsing Obama) they’d get the Poehler/Fey treatment.

Here’s a clip of Jess/JT making a case their case for Obama… and making an even stronger case for celebrities sticking to what they know – in Justin’s case “writing goofy songs” and in Jessica’s case… forgettable films and dating Justin, I guess.

While they are coming from a good place, at one point Justin asks if “swung” is a word… so really, this foray into politics isn’t doing anyone much good.

But the 18 year olds that make up the electorate at this rally don’t seem to mind that Justin and Jessica's knowledge of the issues is the sum of a cut and paste from a couple of google searches.

Here’s the clip - for all of you undecided voters who seek the wisdom of well, just about anyone… Note for anyone with ears: Lower the volume before viewing. There is some A-list sorority “Woo-ing” that you should be prepared for.



Talk about reaching across the aisle --- Barack Obama brought the guy who dated Britney Spears and the girl from 7th Heaven over to the left! Things are changing…

An Actual Plan vs. An Actual Fighter

Yesterday, Sen. Barack Obama unveiled an actual economic plan, which makes good sense considering we're in the midst of economic hell. It lays out specific steps that Obama would take in office to help heal some of the wounds inflicted by the moron-in-chief over the last eight years.

Sen. McCain's plan? Glad you asked. He's a fighter. And while it's unclear how this is helpful in terms of specifically helping our country avoid another great depression, chants of "USA! USA!" and "Drill, baby, drill!" seem (well, are) frivolous, immature, and- frankly- depressing.

Monday, October 13, 2008

"DRILL, BABY, DRILL" VS "JOBS, BABY, JOBS"

Nobody puts baby in the corner!

Thanks to Senator Hillary Clinton for finally throwing in the towel on her own campaign and giving Obama/the Democratic Party a succinct catchphrase for the election.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081013/ap_on_el_pr/obama_clintons

My head might explode

I don't understand how the Drudge Report can say this:

ZOGBY MONDAY: OBAMA 48%, MCCAIN 44%...

RASMUSSEN MONDAY: OBAMA 50%, MCCAIN 45%...

Schmidt: McCain 'within striking distance'...


while the decidedly liberal Huff Post reports this:
MORE CAMPAIGN UPDATES... McCain: "We've Got Them Just Where We Want Them"... McCain Down 10 Points In Washington Post/ABC Poll...
Can someone please tell me what kind of mood I'm supposed to be in and stop toying with my emotions??

Bill & Jon forever

two loves of my life, one stage:

Bill Maher on The Daily Show

Bill Maher on The Daily Show, Part 2

HOCKEY FANS STICK IT TO THE HOCKEY MOM

Sarah Palin gets Booed as she takes the ice to drop the first puck at an NHL hockey game.



I actually think this is a little sad...

AMERICAN PIE

While McCain is having the worst week ever, Obama is telling sharing personal narratives which involve saying the word "pie" over and over again... I love politics!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

PALIN IS MATERIAL FOR MATERIAL GIRL

My good friend Madonna didn't hide her distaste for Sarah Palin during her NYC concerts this past week. She loudly and clearly expressed herself as she took audience song requests and found a way to turn them into anti-Palin messages.

Here, she starts with the prechorus hook from the song "I LOVE NEW YORK" and tells Sarah Palin to "Get off my street....get off my street..." before sharing a couple of other opinions on the hockey mom.



Personally, I think for a Palin rant, "Papa Don't Preach" would have been a fun choice!

In other Madonna Politics, there is a pseudo Obama commercial that plays at her shows during a costume change... and Madge actually had a stake in the Maverick game way before McPalin did. Her now-defunct vanity record label at Warner Bros, which launched the careers of big name artists including Alanis Morissette and Michelle Branch was called...you guessed it... Maverick Records.

And finally... we've only got 4 minutes to save the world... and 23 days to mock the vote!
Music makes the people come together - yeah!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

OBAMA'S STREET TEAM HITS MY HOOD

I have encountered Obama reps outside by apartment twice in the past week. Within a one block radius, I spotted six different clipboard-toting DNC'ers. On both occasions, I was stopped by representatives who asked me, "Do you have a minute for Barack Obama?" and "Are you an Obama supporter?" Being a sucker for SWAG, I indulged the first rep's pitch -- she was raising money (duh) for something or other with the Obama campaign. I asked her if I would snag a button in exchange for my donation, and she regretfully informed me that she didn't have any buttons to give out -- but that they would probably make her job a little easier. (sigh)

Anyway, cut to a couple of days later. Obama reps are once again out in full force - three on each side of the street, stopping anyone and everyone as they come by.

And then... we learn this: It's" Bam TV: Barack Obama Buys a Half Hour of Prime Time on CBS, NBC - US News and World Report.

So now I see why the DNC has been logging so many hours on my street - to help fund Obama's TV Pilot! I wonder what kind of show he'll do --- will he launch a book club?!? Is Oprah producing? Any guest stars slated to appear? And most importantly, will my neighborhood be a credited sponsor?

I can just see the graphic before Obama's third "Change" monologue, saying: This broadcast was brought to you by the fine New Yorkers in Murray Hill - the frozen yogurt capital of Manhattan.

24 days...

Friday, October 10, 2008

MAVERICKGATE UPDATE: PALIN ABUSED POWER

What should a maverick do now????

Sarah Palin may have put the final nail in the McCain coffin...

Alaska panel finds Palin abused power in firing - Yahoo! News

Then again, she has proven to have the resiliance of a cockroach so you never know.

"The Maverick Guide to Turning Liabilities into Opportunities, and Winnng the Vice-Presidency without Experience or Qualification" may have some information that can save her yet again.

Perhaps in between Chapter 3: The Religious Right, Family Values, and Your Knocked Up Teenage Daughter and Chapter 5: Evolution, Global Warming, and Other Fairy Tales from the Window Overlooking Russia is a chapter called: Scandals, Gates, and Other Activities that Totally Negate Your Hockey Mom/Washington Outsider Brand.

BARACK OSAMA BALLOTS

You would think the Board of Elections in Rensselaar, NY would have proofread the ballots before them sending out...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081010/ap_on_el_pr/osama_ballot_1

Is it just me?

;-)

Or does this emoticon now bring to mind images of Sarah Palin? I bet next week on gchat and email applications this thing suddenly has brown hair, glasses, and a pregnant child trailing behind it.

I Would Bear Tom Friedman's Children

But I think he's already married, and has a few kids.

Palin's Kind of Patriotism

Hilarity Takes the Form of Ruthless Political Journalism

Matt Taibbi is a writer for Rolling Stone Magazine. I'm somewhat biased, but even if you disagree with him it's rather difficult to suppress laughter.

First read this:

Mad Dog Palin

and then read this

The Return of Rove

and try not to smile knowingly.

25 DAYS LEFT!!!!

THIS IS AMERICA...


Redneck Woman Rails on Obama - Watch more free videos

Thanks Ahmad!

BIDEN INTRODUCED AS MCCAIN...

At his own rally! Ouch!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

TINA FEY - SECRETLY VOTING MCCAIN?!?

The clip the McCain camp would LOVE to see!

Tina Fey confesses that in the next election, there's an 80% chance she'll tell all her friends she voted for Obama, but will actually vote for McCain! It's actually her 30 Rock alter ego, Liz Lemon but still... pretty gosh darn unexpected :)






Of course this Season 1 Clip came way, way before Liz/Tina was selected as Mac's running mate. I wonder if Jack (Alec Baldwin) will point out Liz's resemblance to the VP candidate when the show comes back... or Tina will opt to protect her TV self from Palin-ization.

26 DAYS TO GO!!!

Debate ruled a draw by pundits across the nation.

Obama keeps the lead as the Dow and McCain keep dipping.

And the countdown continues...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

TWO PALINS - THE REAL AND THE FEY-K

Hilarious -- A French newspaper published an article about Sarah Palin accompanied by a picture of Tina Fey!



Honest mistake really... To use a quote from Governor Palin herself, "the visual is spot-on."

As are the words -- try to guess which of these quotes were spoken by the Real Sarah and which ones were Fey...

“In the middle class of America, which is where Todd and I have been all of our lives, [raising taxes] is not patriotic. Patriotic is saying, government, you know, you're not always the solution. In fact, too often you're the problem so, government, lessen the tax burden and on our families and get out of the way…”

“Also too, you see, I think a little differently from an insider. I don’t think it’s patriotic to pay more taxes. I don’t think it’s patriotic to criticize these wars we got going on. I do think it’s patriotic to tell the government - Hey get out of my way! ”

“ I liked being here tonight answering these tough questions without the filter of the mainstream “gotcha” media with their follow up questions, fact checking or incessant need to figure out what your words mean and why you put them in that order. I am happy to be speaking directly to the American people to let them know if you want an outsider who doesn’t like politics as usual, or pronouncin’ the G at the end of a word she’s sayin’ --I think you know who to vote for.”

“…John McCain has been known for in all these years. He has been the maverick. He has ruffled feathers.”

“With Barack Obama, you’re going to be payin’ higher taxes but not with me and my fellow maverick. We are not afraid to get maverick-y in there and ruffle feathers and not got to allow that.”

“You know, John McCain and I, we’re a couple of mavericks ,and gosh darn it, we’re going to take that maverick energy right to Washington and we’re going to use it to fix this financial crisis and everything else that’s plaguin’ this great country of ours”

“John McCain has been the consummate maverick in the Senate over all these years. Also, John McCain's maverick position that he's in, that's really prompt up to and indicated by the supporters that he has.”

“ As for disagreeing with John McCain and how our administration would work, what do you expect? A team of mavericks, of course we're not going to agree on 100 percent of everything.”

“You know, We’re going to take every aspect of the crisis and look at it and then we’re going to ask ourselves, what would a maverick do in this situation, and then you know, we’ll do that.”

“That’s why I say I - like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bailout… But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy helping the – It’s got to be all about job creation too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track –so health care reform and reducing taxes and reigning in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans and trade. We’ve got to see trade as opportunity not as competitive, scary thing but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity… all those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.”


ANSWERS

“In the middle class of America, which is where Todd and I have been all of our lives, [raising taxes] is not patriotic. Patriotic is saying, government, you know, you're not always the solution. In fact, too often you're the problem so, government, lessen the tax burden and on our families and get out of the way…” - SARAH PALIN (VP debate)

“Also too, you see, I think a little differently from an insider. I don’t think it’s patriotic to pay more taxes. I don’t think it’s patriotic to criticize these wars we got going on. I do think it’s patriotic to tell the government - Hey get out of my way! ” – TINA FEY (adds… “Stop trying to impose on my right to shoot wolves from a helicopter” at the end of this thought.)

“ I liked being here tonight answering these tough questions without the filter of the mainstream “gotcha” media with their follow up questions, fact checking or incessant need to figure out what your words mean and why you put them in that order. I am happy to be speaking directly to the American people to let them know if you want an outsider who doesn’t like politics as usual, or pronouncin’ the G at the end of a word she’s sayin’ --I think you know who to vote for.” – TINA FEY (though Sarah Palin offered something similar at the end of the debate)

“…John McCain has been known for in all these years. He has been the maverick. He has ruffled feathers.” - SARAH PALIN

“With Barack Obama, you’re going to be payin’ higher taxes but not with me and my fellow maverick. We are not afraid to get maverick-y in there and ruffle feathers and not got to allow that.” -TINA FEY

“You know, John McCain and I, we’re a couple of mavericks ,and gosh darn it, we’re going to take that maverick energy right to Washington and we’re going to use it to fix this financial crisis and everything else that’s plaguin’ this great country of ours” – TINA FEY

“John McCain has been the consummate maverick in the Senate over all these years. Also, John McCain's maverick position that he's in, that's really prompt up to and indicated by the supporters that he has.” – SARAH PALIN

“ As for disagreeing with John McCain and how our administration would work, what do you expect? A team of mavericks, of course we're not going to agree on 100 percent of everything.” – SARAH PALIN

“You know, We’re going to take every aspect of the crisis and look at it and then we’re going to ask ourselves, what would a maverick do in this situation, and then you know, we’ll do that.” – TINA FEY

“That’s why I say I - like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bailout… But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy helping the – It’s got to be all about job creation too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track –so health care reform and reducing taxes and reigning in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans and trade. We’ve got to see trade as opportunity not as competitive, scary thing but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity… all those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.” –SARAH PALIN (though Fey did her own version virtually verbatim)

Also, in other Fey/Palin news --- rumors once again are swirling that the real Sarah Palin will appear on SNL doing a Tina Fey impression.